I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I'm passing your future prison.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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