you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
