After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
