It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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