member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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