i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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