if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
