Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
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i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
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You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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