Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Randomize
