swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Someone shattered a urinal.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
