Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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