oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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