just come out here and I will go home with you...
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Randomize
