I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
