and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
