He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
