I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Can i not drive my cunt home
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
