Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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