i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
