I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
