That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
My liver just had a heart attack.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
