he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
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