she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
