I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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