it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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