Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
