i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
