All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
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