he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
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i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
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oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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