can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
