you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Randomize
