Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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