normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
