I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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