You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
this beer tastes like vomit already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
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