discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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