Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
There's always time for handjobs
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Randomize
