Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I AM VODKA MAN
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
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