we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
