I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I use my feet as sexual weapons
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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