I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
