A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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