He disabled his match.com account in front of me
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
