I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
What drink are we having for lunch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
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