is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
