I got chris browned last night
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
