so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
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I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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