You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I have post one night stand depression
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