I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
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