Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
