if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
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