I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
