im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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