just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
