Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
