Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
