thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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