Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
